Insert string of colorful “sentence enhancers” here for class ran over and my VCR was not set. I came in at Camp Locke. FWIW, land speed records were set between Villanova and Oaks tonight.
Camp Not Locke
Not Locke is holding court, explaining the plans for the survivors of the Temple massacre and what that “the smoke thing” killed those left behind, conveniently leaving out the fact that he is the smoke thing. Claire smiles creepily and takes Kate’s hand, which Kate is clearly uncomfortable with. When Claire finally lets go, Kate wipes the crazy off on her pants leg and takes Sawyer aside. “So are you with Locke now?” she wants to know. “I’m not with anyone, Kate,” Sawyer says. Not Locke tells everyone to fill up on water because where they are heading, they might be there a couple days. Sawyer does not like the sound of that. “A couple of days?” he complains. “I thought we were getting off this rock.” Not Locke is annoyed. “Let’s talk in private.”
They move off away from the others and Sawyer asks him, “How’d you know to rescue them from the smoke thing?” Not Locke tells Sawyer the uncomfortable truth about himself: “I didn’t rescue them. I am the smoke thing.” “Are you telling me that you killed all those people?” So Not Locke explains his reasoning regarding the Others to Sawyer: “They are convinced that they are protecting the island from me. It’s either kill of be killed and I don’t want to be killed.” Sounds reasonable. So Not Locke asks Sawyer to take a boat ride over to Hydra Island so that he can relive his fond memories of the hottest sex scene in a cage on network television, visions of Dr. Bunnykiller and his triumph with the Fish Biscuits. Oh, and also to do some recon. “The Ajira flight is over there, “ says Not Locke, and that’s how they are going to get off the island. “But I have reason to believe that there are people over there who want to kill me.” you “So why me?” Sawyer wants to know. “Because you are the best liar I ever met. Gain their trust. Then we get on that plane, fly off this island and never look back.”
Sawyer arrives at the cages on Hydra Island, where he relives his fond memories of the hottest sex scene in a cage on network television, visions of Dr. Bunnykiller and his triumph with the Fish Biscuits. Wait, what am I here for again…..?
Meanwhile, back on the main island, Kate is talking to a clearly unhinged Sayid. “Do you believe Locke can get us off the island?” “Yes. I believe,” Sayid answers flatly. Kate picks up on his near catatonic state. “Are you all right?” she asks. “No,” Sayid answers. Then out of nowhere, Claire jumps Kate and tries to cut her throat all the while Sayid is calmly watching while Kate begs for help. Finally, it’s Not Locke who pulls her off, and slaps her. “Kate was only trying to help you Claire, and your behavior is completely inappropriate.”
Well Kate is pretty upset about Claire turning feral on her, so she goes off to sob alone in the jungle. Not Locke finds her and explains, “I need to take responsibility for her actions. I was the one who told her that the Others had her baby.” Kate wants to know why he told her that. “Have you ever had an enemy, someone that you needed to hate? Someone that you needed to hate? Claire was devastated when she lost Aaron. She needed something to keep her going. All that anger had to go somewhere.” Sounds reasonable. “That’s very insightful coming from a dead man,” Kate retorts. “Nobody’s perfect,” Not Locke responds. “Look, I promised I would keep everyone safe. That includes you, too, Kate.” Not quite buying it, Kate decides to change the subject. “Where did Sawyer go?” Offering his hand, Not Locke says, “I’ll show you.”
Having completed his reverie, Sawyer finds the Ajira plane and a trail through the sand, which he follows to a bunch of actively decomposing bodies. He hears a noise in the jungle and spots a girl running through the woods. Sawyer tackles her. “Who the hell are you?” He wants to know. “I’m Tina Fey. You may know me as Liz Lemon. I’m the only one left.”
Tina Fey introduces herself to Sawyer as Zoe. “What killed all those people?” Sawyer asks her. “I was collecting wood. We were all just waiting for someone to rescue us. I heard screaming. When I came back they were all dead. I spent the last two days dragging their bodies up here.”
Zoe, exhibiting relief at being found, starts asking Sawyer about how he got there, how many are in his party, where they are, blah blah blah. Sawyer is not fooled. “You’re good, sweetheart, but you ain’t that good,” Sawyer says pulling his gun. “Where are the rest of your people?” Zoe whistles and her team appears with guns trained on Sawyer. “Your name even Zoe?” “Is yours Sawyer?” Sawyer looks around him, gets on his knees and puts his hands on his head. “All right, all right, you got me. Take me to your leader.”
Meanwhile, Kate wants to know why Not Locke went to the trouble to get her alone just to show her the island where her and Sawyer had the hottest sex scene in a cage on network television and dined on Fish Biscuits. “Because I wanted to talk to you, Kate,” Not Locke explains. “I am not a dead man. My mother was crazy. A long time ago before I looked like this, I had a mother. She was a very disturbed woman, and as a result of that, I had some ‘growing pains’. Problems I’m still trying to work my way through. Problems that could have been avoided had things been different.” Kate’s not getting it, so Not Locke breaks it down for her: “Now, Aaron has a crazy mother, too.”
Back on Hydra, Sawyer spots Zoe’s people are setting up the sonic border as he is being frog-marched to the the sub. “Get in, he’s waiting for you,” Tina Fey says. Walking past a locked cabinet, Sawyer asks, “Whatchs got in here?” “None of your business,” she snaps. “Keep moving.” She delivers him to Charles Widmore. Widmore knows who Sawyer is and greets him. “Hello Mr. Ford,” he says, looking at him with those black eyes. You know, that’s the thing about Widmore… he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces….ehhhh…oh. Right.
Anyway Widmore asks Sawyer, “Do you know who I am?” Sawyer knows the answer to that question: “You’re the guy that sent a freighter to murder all of us.” Widmore tsk tsks and shakes his head. “It’s sad, really, how little you know.” Sawyer tells Widmore that he is with John Locke. “John Locke’s dead,” Widmore says. “We both know that the guy we’re talking about is not really John Locke.” Sawyer is ready to cut a deal with Widmore: “I’ll tell him the coast is clear. I’ll bring the old man right to your door and you can kill him.” “How do I know I can trust you?” Widmore asks. “Same way I know I can trust you,” Sawyer counters. “Do we have an agreement?” they shake and Widmore’s eyes roll over white and we hear that awful high pitched screaming….
Ahem.
So back on the main island, Kate is returning to camp when Feral Claire confronts her in the jungle. “I want to apologize,” says Feral Claire as she starts weeping the crazy tears. “You only did it because you care about me and you were taking care of him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Was anyone else expecting her to stab Kate in the back with a knife she had hidden?
Sawyer arrives back and tells Not Locke, “You didn’t send me over there to find passengers from that plane, did you?” Sawyer tells Not Locke that the passengers from Ajira 316 are all dead. “That’s terrible!” says Not Locke. “What happened?” As if he didn’t know. “Widmore is over there with six armed men. They are setting up pylons—like the kind they used to keep you out of New Otherville.” “What did you tell them about me?” Not Locke wants to know. “I told them I’d tell you that the coast was clear. Now we can change our plans and you can get the jump on them.” “I appreciate your loyalty, James.” “You promised to get me off this island. A deal’s a deal.”
Later that night, Sawyer comes across Kate at her campfire. “What are you doing running errands for Locke?” Kate wants to know. Sawyer explains that he’s not running errands for anyone. “There’s a guy named Widmore set up on the beach over there. Guys with guns, they’re here for Locke. I’m gonna let them fight it out. And while they have their hands full with each other, we get off this island.” “How are we going to fly the plane?” Kate asks. “We ain’t takin’ the plane freckles, we’re taking the sub.”
Sawyer Five-O
Detective James is trying to track down Anthony Cooper. Miles is his partner who wants to know who Anthony Cooper is. “An old partner I ran into in Palm Springs Trip last weekend,” Sawyer lies. “You got a date tonight with a friend of my dad’s who works at the museum,” says Miles, announcing the blind date he set Sawyer up with. When Sawyer protest, Miles asks him, “Do you want to die alone?”
Sawyer shows up at the bar and calls Miles on his cell phone. “What’s this girl look like again?” As soon as Miles tell him she has red hair, we know it’s going to be Charlotte. Charlotte looks good with makeup. She tells Sawyer that she’s an archeologist, which Sawyer thinks is boring. “I travel quite a bit to far off and romantic places,” she says, defending her choice of profession. “Why did you become a cop?” Sawyer starts with what sounds like his standard Steve McQueen/Bullitt story. “Do me a favor and don’t act like I’m like all the other girls. Tell me the truth.” Sawyer relents, “It got to the point where I was going to be a criminal or a cop, so I chose cop.” After a quick sex scene that pales in comparison to cage sex, Charlotte asks to borrow a t-shirt while Sawyer uses the bathroom. We see the book Watership Down, Sawyer’s book about….bunnies. Digging through the drawer, Charlotte comes across a blue dossier with some pictures and newspaper clippings: “Local man kills wife, self. Survived by 9 year old son.” Sawyer catches her looking through it and screams, “Get out!”
Back a the station, Sawyer is walking through the reception area where we see Liam Pace, Charlie’s brother. He tries to get some answers from Sawyer, “I’m waiting for my brother, he’s here on a drug charge..?” But Sawyer blows past him, right into Miles who is mightily ticked off. At first Sawyer thinks it’s because of his treatment of Charlotte, but it turns out Miles ran Sawyer’s credit cards and found out he lied about his trip to Palm Springs.”I want to know why you were in Sydney.” “None of your damn business,” Sawyer retorts. It’s a trust issue for Miles. “Then I’m not your partner anymore.”
Sawyer is back home at his pathetic apartment, with a frozen dinner, some beer and OJ and watching Little House. Pa is explaining to Half Pint, “You can spend your whole life worrying about what’s gonna happen. Laughin and loving each other, that’s what life is all about. People aren’t really gone when they die, because they live in our memories.” Sawyer is so inspired by this episode of Little House that he decides to try and patch things up with Charlotte. But Charlotte is having none of it. “You can’t just show up here with your puppy dog eyes and a sad sunflower. You blew it.” Dejected, Sawyer leaves the sad sunflower at her door, which is now somehow, that much sadder.
Having struck out with Charlotte, Sawyer decides to make amends with Miles. Miles gets in Sawyer’s car and Sawyer hands him the Sawyer dossier. “Who’s Sawyer?” Miles wants to know. “When I was nine years old, my father shot my mother and then killed himself. Sawyer was the reason why. He was a grifter. I chased down a lead in Australia and that gave me a name: Anthony Cooper. I’m gonna find him and I’m gonna kill him.” Miles is dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because I thought you’d try to talk me out of it. I’ve been hunting him down since the day I left the academy.”
Suddenly, a car slams into them and the occupant gets out and starts running. Sawyer and Miles pursue; Sawyer tackles her and removes her hood. He recognizes Kate from the airport.
“Well, I’ll be damned.”
Thoughts on this episode:
Not Locke’s enemy speech about Claire needing someone to hate was pretty significant. In fact, he could have been easily talking about the Others, who set him up as their object of hate. As creepy as Not Locke is, and as much as his friendliness and seeming straightforward friendliness seemd designed to get you to trust him, it only makes you more leery of him. I am still not completely convinced that he’s evil, but more on that below.
I absolutely love the Sawyer/Miles partnership. Interesting that they were in charge of security on the island, and end up as police partners in the alternate timeline.
Come to think of it, Sawyer recognized Kate from the airport, but he also noticed she was wearing handcuffs in the elevator at the airport and even though he’s a cop, he not only let her go, but kind of covered for her with airport security. And got a big kick out of it, too.
Sawyer wants to get off the island pretty badly, doesn’t he? Almost as bad as Not Locke. I’m finding myself liking his alternate timeline so much I’m hoping that the fate I think that is in store for him will not come to pass.
In fact, now is as good a time as any to float my next “It’s Hurley in the coffin” theory of everything My apologies to those of you who read this already.
My Next “It’s Hurley in the Coffin” Theory of Everything
Here are the names that were written on the cave wall, the "candidates":
4-Locke
8-Reyes
15-Ford
16-Jarrah
23-Sheppard
42—Kwon
In last week's episode, Sun asked Alannah who the candidates were, and Alannah answered she wasn't sure if it was Sun or Jin, but she unmistakably said that there were six candidates left. Now, I think it would be pretty lame to have "Kwon," or even "Sheppard" for that matter, count for more than one candidate so my guess is that there are indeed still six candidates and Locke is still in the running--remember, Jacob didn't cross off Locke's name, Not Locke (MIB) did. So, I think we will get to see our beloved Locke again--and I hope to God they give us a happy ending for his story.
The story of Ben is the story of power corrupting. Ben did everything for the island, but mostly he did everything for the island because it furthered his own selfish goals of exercising his power. In the pivotal scene with Alex and Keamy, Ben could have given himself up to save Alex, but instead thought his own importance to the island was more important than her life. In the scene this week where Roger expresses regret over how far Ben could have gone if only they had stayed on the island is even more ironic, considering that in leaving the island, and denying Ben that absolute power, that choice has made Ben a better, more selfless person.
I think that Kate will die, which will set up the next eternal struggle between Jack, who will take Jacob’s place on the island and Sawyer who will step in for the MIB, who only wants to get off the island he’s been “trapped” on for several lifetimes. I will also go on record now as saying the last scene of the series will be similar to the opening scene of last season's finale: with Jack cooking fish on the beach offering some to Sawyer, looking out at another wreck on the island, talking about how it always ends the same but there is progress and ending with Sawyer saying he would kill Jack if he could find a loophole.
I really don't think it's a reward to take Jacob's place--I think that Jacob must have been just as "trapped" on the island as MIB--only that Jacob understood this as his duty and exercised it selflessly for the
greater good--the island.
Remember, in the alternate timeline, the one we are assuming is the "Jacob never existed" timeline, the island was at the bottom of the ocean. The existence of and well being of the island must have profound beneficial effects for the whole world, which is why Jacob dedicates his life—an eternity to it--selflessly. MIB would rather live his own life and to hell with the island.
The big question is what effect on THE WHOLE WORLD does the island (or the absence thereof) have that would make anyone want to basically live there for all eternity, which is essentially what Jacob has done willingly and MIB has done unwillingly. Jack and Sawyer are picked as the new yin/yang of the island. It's not a reward, it's a duty and Jack—the great leader who “walks among us but is not one of us” understands duty while Sawyer is a bit more selfish and only feels trapped by this duty.
Immortality is often seen as both a blessing and a curse in literature, and therefore, I can see why Jacob was constantly searching for a replacement for himself. I am reminded of the scene at the end of Indian Jones and the Last Crusade, when Indy finds the last Knight of the Crusade in with the Holy Grail and the knight is so happy that his replacement has finally come so that he finally can leave and die? Parallel that with Desmond's joy when the Losties finally break into the hatch--he thinks his replacements have arrived.
Locke's reward for his faith in the island is getting off the island and living a happy life. The island is a metaphor for the fountian of youth or the Holy Grail, or both, which is why it needs to be protected.
And always, always remember when reading my theories: It’s Hurley in the coffin.
Definitely.
Next week:
Richard Eyeliner.
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